Selective or fussy eating on behalf of the child most often can be addressed with behaviour modification on behalf of the whole family. In most cases, a child and their fussy eating habit can be attributed to role modelling particular family members. Carers frequently witness their children imitating them in various instances such as talking on pretend mobile phones or repeating word-for-word statements heard from the carer. However, carers may rarely make the connection between this imitating behaviour of their own eating habits and the child’s eating habits.
Sometimes a carer may have a child, who from the early stages of infancy, have found it difficult to have the child eat a healthy amount of food and gain the expected weight for their age. This experience in itself can cause anxiety for the carer particularly at meal times which can also filter down to the child. A constant repeat of negative experiences and battles at meal times can lead to the eradication of structured meal times and the carer finding themselves subscribing to the mind set of ‘ I don’t care where/when or what he/she eats, as long as she eats.’
One could understand the psychology behind the slow development of such a habit establishing itself. The carer may reach such a stage within their frustration when they no longer care how the child eats….just as long as he/she eats. This in itself however can be a catch-twenty-two if trying to establish good eating habits. To elaborate on this point, it can be taken back to the carer-child imitation. Quite often it can be observed within a household, a child being placed at a table to eat. Although a carer may or may not be sitting at the table with the child, more often than not, the carer usually is not eating with the child. This is where the connection between imitation and eating habits become evident. If a child is not willing to eat and or acts particularly fussy then it is not always a case of necessarily trying to correct the child. It is could more likely to be a case of changing the behaviour of the carer. Questions a carer may ask themselves are…
o Do I eat regular meals? – breakfast, lunch, dinner
o Where do I eat meals? – at a counter/ in front of the television
o Does my family sit and enjoy the majority of breakfast/evening meals together?
o Do I share the same meal as the child or do I expect the child to eat a different meal?
A carer requires addressing such questions before entering into battle every meal time. Developing the mind set of ‘I don’t care where/when or what the child eats as long as he/she eats’ and allowing the disarray of meal times to continue, will, in the long term prevent the carer from developing healthy eating patterns within the child and the family.
The key point being made here is…set the example. Falling into the trap of letting a child eat how he/she chooses does not usually help the situation. In fact it is this type of behaviour that will perpetuate the original problem. The early years of the child is the prime time for helping the child develop deep rooted eating behaviours. If meal times become stressful and the child becomes difficult to feed, instead of entering in to conflict negotiations with the toddler (and they are experts at it!) and allowing each meal time become too painful to even contemplate, keep this in mind. More often than not…children like their carers’ to be involved. Develop structured meal times where the carer is able to sit with the child and eat the same meal as the child. Instead of repeatedly telling the child to eat, involve the child in conversation about how good the food is. Create discussion about the types of food on their plate and ask questions like…’where do you think this grows?’, How long do you think it takes to grow and how long do you think it will take to eat it?’, ‘What do you think this food can do for us?’ Make yummy food noises, and make a positive fuss over even the smallest attempts of effort the child makes at trying food they would not normally eat.
In summary, the main concept of dealing with the issue of children who will not eat is this. Before agonising over what is wrong with the child, the carer must reflect upon themselves. Avoiding structured meal times will not help the child develop good eating habits. Although it is understandable how the sporadic eating habits can be allowed to develop, it is not the answer for long term improvements. Find foods the child and carer will enjoy and avoid allowing snacks and establish meal times as the only time for eating. Although it may take a while to establish the child into a pattern of eating well, it is with persistence, patience, fun and the structuring of meal times that will be the winning recipe to a child who will not only eventually begin to eat properly but establish a healthy habit.
About the Author...
Rebecca is studying for a degree in Nutrition and would like to use her degree to work as a child Nutritionist and help parents of young children deal with food issues. She is a believer of returning back to basics when food ingredients did not contain numbers. She has worked in Child Care and as an International Nanny for 12 yrs and has travelled 27 countries. Her three favourite things are Good Food, Good Friends and Good Conversation.
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