“Tell me and I’ll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I’ll understand.” - Chinese Proverb.
As an early childhood Nanny, this is one saying I believe rings true in many ways. Not only when it comes to educating but also when and if you are trying to encourage behaviour modification within young babes. Children are the world’s best imitators therefore any type of behaviour expected of a child should first and fore mostly be performed by those around the child.
One common example which occurred in most families I worked for and is one which I could guarantee happens in the majority of families… is difficulty at meal times. It is usually around 5pm when young children are asked to sit at the table for dinner. The children are the only people sitting at the table with a plate of food in front of them and they are asked to eat their dinner. Some parents/carers do not eat with their children because “It is too early for their dinner.” Here is the problem… Why would the child eat if you were not eating?
Picture this if you will. You are out with a friend and feeling hungry. You ask your friend if they would like to stop at the cafe with you and eat. Your friend kindly rejects the offer to eat but says they will sit with you while you eat. Most often than not, your reaction is, ‘Oh never mind.’ Why? Because, you would rather not eat if your friend is not eating. This is the exact same situation that is happening every evening with your child. If you are not eating, then they will not want to eat either.
Parents/carers who adopt the method of leading by example as opposed to demanding their child ‘to do as they are told’ I believe, are generally far more successful in forming desirable eating habits in their child. New foods in particular are cause for mealtime battles between parent/carer and child. However new foods will soon be accepted after repeated exposure and patience and positive attitude on behalf of the parent/carer.
The first thing I informed parents when stepping into a new job was that I always eat with the children. I would make the same meal for me and the children and we would all eat together. Why did I do this? Imitation. A child’s way of comprehending the world around them is by imitating and role modelling what they observe thus internalising patterns and reinacting feedback and instruction from parents/carers.
The action of sitting with my babes during meal times made a considerable difference in the participation level of each child during meal times. It was wonderful to see. Also, initially children are amused by the fact that you are sitting with them and eating too as they just love the company.
Imitation is just the first step and does not work entirely on its own. The next part of the plan is to make it fun. Children are such excitable little creatures who love fun, are always up for a good time and certainly do not want to miss out on an opportunity to join in. Two weeks into one job, one of my 4yr old boys declared to his parents on the week-end that broccoli was his favourite food. This came from a boy who would initially not touch a vegetable. The parents said to me the following Monday morning, “I don’t know what you are doing but whatever it is, keep it up.” What I did was make broccoli fun.
First of all, I took it slow. I introduced the broccoli to his plate. I told him what was on the plate and said if you do not want to eat it, you do not have to but just leave it on the plate. This is huge for a child to do. We all know that if I child does not want some thing it is pushed off the plate or on to the floor.
I continued with the first stage for about three days consecutively. Then I encouraged a bite on the fourth day. All the while, I had lots of broccoli on my plate and would eat it each night whilst making yummy food noises. I would make jokes about eating a tree. I would be extremely comical and dramatic about it which caused both young babes aged 3 and 4 to laugh hysterically.
After the third day, I firmly encouraged the 4yr old boy to try a small piece of broccoli. Each time he took a small bite I would pop a comical surprised look on my face and whisper to his 3yr old sister (loud enough for the 4yr old to hear), “Oh, he just ate a tree!!” This would cause laughter all round. Then of course, to get the positive attention again, he would bite more off and so did his sister, as she did not want to miss out on the fun.
Another trick I would often use with young babes is the ‘challenge’ but always in a fun and positive manner such as…”You couldn’t eat that whole big spoon of peas could you”? Quite often they would and I would act so surprised and ‘rap’ them by saying how amazing they were and “Oh my goodness” how surprised I was to see such a big spoonful get popped into their mouths. I would get very excited, which would cause them to beam with pride and want to join in to this fun new activity.
Another way of expanding on this new activity is to plan an outing to a bookshop together to look at recipe books to buy. Make a big deal about this, about how exciting it is going to be. To avoid possible arguments over recipe books that are not appropriate for what you are trying to achieve, go to the shop a few days before, choose a few books that you like and ask the shopkeeper to hold them for when you come in with your child. On the day of the bookshop excursion, encourage your child to ask the shopkeeper for recipe books for children. Ta Da! The shopkeeper will hand over to your child, the books you have already chosen.
From these books your child can help you choose one or two that you could buy and take home. I had great experiences sitting with children and choosing yummy recipes together that they could help create. One child who would never eat vegetables helped me create a pizza. We cut it all up together and it had vegetables like Capsicum that he had never eaten before. Low and behold,…he could not eat enough of his pizza and could not contain his excitement when his parents came home that night. He told them all about the process and every ingredient he used and ate. I don’t know who was more proud, the child or the parents?
Dinnertime is such a beautiful time of the day. It is the official time for winding down and provides the opportunity to catch up on how each person’s day was. I know meal times can be such a battle, trust me, I’ve been there many times. But in saying that, if we, as adults can come to the table positive and calm it can truly be enjoyable. In regards to helping a child focus on the meal,…TV off and toys do not live on the table. Teddy is watching you eat your yummy dinner and is waiting on the sofa to play with you after dinner. :-)
I do appreciate that I was a Nanny and not a parent so I was arguably able to be more influential to a degree. However, the underlying principle is the same regardless of your role. Being consistent, positive and fun during each mealtime eventually pays off and the child will fall into a habit of trying new foods.
I wish all parents/carers lots of fun with meal times.
About the Author...
Rebecca is studying for a degree in Nutrition and would like to use her degree to work as a child Nutritionist and help parents of young children deal with food issues. She is a believer of returning back to basics when food ingredients did not contain numbers. She has worked in Child Care and as an International Nanny for 12 yrs and has travelled 27 countries. Her three favourite things are Good Food, Good Friends and Good Conversation.
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